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~~Nice Day~~
Today wake up quite early to prepare for the trip to Sentosa with my Mie and Marc…
We reach Sentosa at around 11 plus i think. we lost our way to the beach but in end still manage to get there.At first i don dare to take off my clothes Coz so paiseh arh, first time wear bikini.. hee hee but in the end i still manage to overcome my fear… The sun is not blazing hot today is jus rite like wat i wan, coz i don wish to tan tooo dark.. but the water is so cold… We play something like the game 7 up in the water den Marc always end up losing hahaha.. We oso saw one young couple brought their dogs to the beach not only one dog orh is four dogs, two big two small…One of the small dog is so cute, blur blur always lagging behind the other three hee hee… Really enjoy myself today but to bad.. only the three of us went if darren fei they all go together more fun, coz the more the merrier mah.. We oso took lot of picture at Sentosa and habourfront… Marc keep asking us to take pic with him …in the end we took abt hundred pic leh. Now my com is so lag, too big a file for him to send me. Im now waiting for the file to finish sending coz im so kan cheong to look at the pictures………. hee hee
BETTER
Hmmm.. I guess i’m feeling better le bah. Nv cry so easily anymore.. At least can talk to him calmly and ask him wat he actually want coz i know he himself oso don know wat he actually wan.. He can say that he wan to be with me yet he doesnt even dare to go and try to really make everyone happy, den he will say he can’t do it… he request for a few days for him to think abt it. but sometime i jus feel that there nothing to think abt it lor… Coz is not the days u required to think but is the way u handle and think of how to salvage or gib up this relationship.. I find it no point being together if we were to get back together and both of us are jus not happy, when u still think that the things u do are always correct and do everything jus for the thought of urself… U wan a relationship which is happy always, everynite can talk on the phone happily got time go out…But do u ever think tht anyone can do this with u. U jus wan urself to be happy for the thing u do and nv spare a thought for others… If u carry on to think this way .. i tell u not only i will suffer ur every gf in the future will suffer the same thing as me ….
The above passage is wat i tell him yesterday, now actaully the ans im waiting from him doesnt really bother me anymore…. i will continue to stay calm …. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi…
Miz U
I finally get my answer. Although im feeling very terrible last nite but today im better le… I try not to think back at the moment . I know when i think back the memories jus won do me any good … I will jus brood over it and make myself more sad. I jus wan to relax myself and enjoy everyday and stay happy… But I noe i wil miss him although i don wish to … Last nite i cried like no body business while talking to him.. tell him everything on how i feel how unhappy i am? Actually all this start when i ask him that qns again.. Maybe u all will think that im such a nuisance why keep on asking him whether he love me anot. But do u all noe he doesnt even noe whether he love me anot .. It is jus so terrible when the one u love and the one who are with u for almost one year can tell u this answer when u ask him whether he love u anot? He cant even bother to do anything for me. He jus ask me to think what i really wan? why must it be me to make the decision … U know wat, this make me think that , to u, u don bother to make me stay. Whether im with or without u, u will oso be the same, u jus don bother lor. It jus hurt me to see ur msg when u still call me dear… Although we cant be together le , but i still love u… I believe the reason to break is not we don love each other is that our mindset is jus so different. Wat i wan is not wat u wan . Wat i think is basic to u is not basic… Muackz….Hope we can stil be fren and see each other again…
~~~Happy or Unhappy Christmas~~~
Today wake up with a pair of painful eyes… like a bit swollen like that, i can even feel the hotness in my eyes… Went to Pizza Tailgo with Mie Darren Marc and Jeremy to have our christmas dinner… but i find the food there is not that yummy compare to the first time i went…. Maybe because i no appetite la… Something happened today oso Mie and jeremy quarrel again.. This time is the first time i see quarrel until so sad… oso the first time i see mie cry until so sad … hahah and oso the first time i so worried abt Mie. She ran away suddenly crying so badly… i chase her she ask me to stop chasing her .. i get so worried i don know wat to do? Den in the end me and marc go and find her … Find her for quite long before we found her .. Oh ya this is oso the first time running around a shopping center toilets… but in the end found her outside mrt station…. This is oso the first time crying at orchard area hahah… See mie so sad i oso feel so sad… I when she tell me how she feel i can somehow feel how she feeling… Coz jeremy and euston both of them their pattern sama sama de… We hug each other and cry don know why from sec when i see mie cry i will oso cry hahahah so stupid of me …. I reach home quite late around 1 plus , luckiliy mummy slp le if not sure get scolding from her hahaha…..
This Song’s Lyrics Sound Similar to My Situation
Here I stand alone, with this weight upon my heart,
And it will not go awayIn my head I keep on looking back, right back to the startwondering what it was that made you change.
well I tried but I had to draw the line…
and still this question keeps on spinning in my mind:
What if I had never let you go?
What if I had never let you go?
Would you be the man I used to know?
If I’d stayed, if you tried,if we could only turn back time,
But I guess we’ll never know.
Many roads to take, some to joy some to heartache,
Many roads to take, some to joy some to heartache,
Anyone can lose their wayAnd if I said that we could turn it back, right back to the start,
Would you take the chance and make the change?
Do you think how it would have been sometimes?
Do you pray that I’d never left your side?
What if I had never let you go?
What if I had never let you go?
Would you be the man I used to know?If I’d stayed, if you tried,
if we could only turn back time,But I guess we’ll never know.
If only we could turn the hands of time.
If only we could turn the hands of time.
If I could take it back would you still be mine?
‘Cause I tried but I had to draw the line,
and still this question keeps on spinning in my mind:
What if I had never let you go?
What if I had never let you go?
Would you be the man I used know?
what if I had never walked away?
‘Cause I still love you more than I can sayIf I’d stayed, if you tried,
if we could only turn back time,
but I guess we’ll never know
Christmas Eve
Today is Christmas Eve… Went to Orchard with Euston…WAAAA so many people so crowded there But i like the ambience there although i noe that dear is not very happy when he say so many people there but im quite happy that he’s willing to go with me… but hor he really wat de leh… keep pressing me to go other place after a while in Orchard hee hee after walking a while in Orchard we went to Suntec coz he say he wanna go there see there got wat to eat for dinner … we walk around for quite long to see wats there to eat in the end we went to Sizzler.. We order a thing called Grilled Platter… Is two serving de so we shared it… Waaaa that plate consist of different meat type all grilled de … got Chicken , Pork , Beek And Lamb… eat until i no appetite… but i noe he enjoy it , coz he like grilled stuffs. Den we went home after dinner …. actaully is quite a pleasant day for me but it ends with a terrible nite….
I wanted to gib myself an ans as soon as possible… But he’s not helping me at all…Firstly I ask him whether he loves me , he didnt ans me . He ask me back why i ask ? Coz I wan to noe .. Second qns I ask him to accompany my parents go eat , he keep quiet again. This time I know his ans.. Den I ask the third qns Are u willing to do anything for me ? He keep quiet again.. I was totally LOST again and again….. Lost for words, don know wat to say… Sometime I think that maybe Im too sensitive so i nv care so much even if im not happy I will jus take that nothing happened. Coz I don wan to spoil his day, coz i noe if i bring thing out to tell him he will not be happy the whole day den he will not talk to me… he won even try to make me happy… We will jus walk like own our own one behind one in front when he’s angry … Im being disappointed quite a few times , once at Chinatown once at Bedok… Sometime while walking he can jus walk on his own leaving me behind .. Den i ask him why he always like to leave me behind? Den his ans to me is shocking… Why must always hold hands leh ? PENGZ……………I had a very unhappy Christmas eve should be Christmas day oso ……….
DIANA LIM CAN U STOP CRYING ???? CRY SO MUCH FOR WAT ??? CRY LE HE OSO DON KNOW???
Wooo…….. Another New day for me…
I feel so fresh today when i wake up although i slept quite late last night. I was talking to Mie last nite. Both of us were sharing our happiness and unhapppiness…While blogging now, Im waiting for Mie and Marc to come my house. So boring, look like is goin to rain.. Hope tmr and Sat don rain coz goin to celebrate Christmas mah… I oso edited my blog, add some things in. This is the first time i do it myself haha… it may sound so stupid, but i got alot of man zu gan.. hee.. hee. Coz usually change of blog skin all that is done by my frens. Coz Im not very familiar with all those script, should say they noe me but i don noe them.. haha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:…A Passage from Rac which i find it meaningful…:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
which depict wat love’s all about.
Love is unconventional, unexplainable, undeniable beyond wat u can see and beyond wat u can hear.
Now do i truly understand what it meant by “love never needs the need of posession.. it only means the right for u to love.”
You dont exactly have to be in a relationship with the person to be or feel love. all u need is to stretch ur arms feel the love within u. U’ll be loved
Bad Hair Day
Went to cut my hair today… This is a sudden decision.. coz mie and marc say wanna go cut hair so i oso cut lor hahah … but in the end i don really like my new hairstyle… still prefer the previous one … Hope it grow faster so that i can look nice nice on chinese new year hahah …. Actually not feeling very well since yesterday… maybe becoz my big auntie come find me hee hee… no appetite since yesterday, den wanna vomit oso hiaz … But today don know why feel that he do care for me oso …. Maybe because that night quarrelled with him again because of same old stuffs bah……. Until now im still searching for an answer to myself…
From the day he tell me that we will not have any future, Ive been protecting myself from being hurt any further.. Sometimes i felt that by doin this, im like very selfish… i feel like i’m hanging ard on a half breaking wooden branch waiting for it to break… (waiting for the day to break ) Maybe i think too much… No matter wat i need to gib myself an ans if not i will be lost in this relationship. Either i gib up now or jus walk one step see one step……. I still cant gib myself an ans between this …Should say i don dare to gib myself an ans ? Maybe? Im so tired physically tired and mentally tired…. Yawnzzzz…..
………Love me… Love me not……..
When i see this i feel so sad… Don Know Why Oso….? heehee
1. he willingly do anythin n everythin fer his beloved.. with sincerity not coercion
2. he constantly wans to humour his beloved and tends to be more talkative
3. he tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her and wans her to be a better person
4. he tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelmin jealousy
5. he constantly fears losin his beloved
6. he always monitors his beloved’s movements as he feels insecure
7. he hates e idea of other guys bein close to his beloved
8. he becomes jealous and sensitive wen his beloved pays less attention to him
9. he becomes the most hardworking person n help his beloved to do anythin n everythin
10. he becomes restless wen his beloved’s away fer too long
11. he cares fer his beloved more than he does himself
12. he constantly asks if his beloved loves him as he feels his love is greater than his beloved’s
13. he would not be bothered wif other gals who dun hold any importance to him
14. he will try to spend a lot of time wif his beloved even tho he noes he’ll end up waitin fer his beloved
15. he praises his beloved in front of others
16. if his beloved leaves him, he cant trust any other gal n wishes fer his beloved to come back to him
17. wen ther is a third party, he loses his mind and is willing to do anythin to fight fer his beloved
18. he makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. he is lyk a small kid who fights fer constant attention from his beloved
20. he treats his beloved as his most trusted one and willing to sacrifice all of his wealth and even his life fer her
~it’s not easy to find guys who would shed their > tears jus fer gals.. so pls treasure them…~
How i wish i can find one who has at least half of the above points mentioned…
Weird dear dear
Dear is so weird today, he’s so quiet.. since i meet him at noon.. He seems to have something bothering him, but when i ask him, he say nothing and assured me that he’s ok.. But my instinct tell me that he’s lying ..that make me more worry … at last he finally tell me wat happened…… i feel so relieved.. although he did not tell me on the spot at least he tell me later i will oso feel happy… coz if he nv tell me i will feel worry de. After i tell him how i felt when he don wan to tell den he tell me…But the thing he worry abt is some how no need to worry de la … Don know why he worry so much… But nvm la at least he is concern abt me … Better than nothing… After coming back to amk with him to wait for his dad, i went to orchard to get something for marc… ” HIS CHRISTMAS PRESENT” hee hee…. he will be happy to receive this present …. Remember to wear leh …. Today is a tiring day for me… went out the whole day but yet happy… (happy at the later part of the day)haa haa ….
AnOther CryIng Day For Me
Actually today should be a Happy day for me, but i feel so fan when mummy came back from work. She start to nag at me, go out she oso nag, stay at home she oso nag…… she always scold without knowing things first….. Make me feel so sad… but nvm la.. She’s my mother who i love the most…. Another thing which make me so sad is none other than EUSTON SOH NGEE WEN…. Im so upset when he don understand me… he always feel that im demading… and always complaining abt the things he do… Why does he have to think this way… i don really blame him, i tell him i jus wan him to know how i feel but whenever i tell him how i feel, he will think that im demanding again… but seriously im not very happy.. i noe he’s not happy oso… I doesnt meant to make him pressurize oso … He told me he feel presurrize.. Ive been trying to make him feel comfortable. This is the first time i heard someone said being with me is pressurize.. i feel so sad and disappointed when i hear this.. coz it came from someone who i love the most… Its so hurting when u heard something like this from someone who u love the most and someone who i hope can noes me best… But after this months of together, i still don feel that he noes me well.. he is oso someone who don gib in to me… someone who always say that i nv spare a thought for him… but he nv noes that he is the one who nv spare a thought for me… He’s always doin things that he like, when i ask him to do something that he don really like, he think oso nv think of my feeling reject it straight away……. This is wat it hurts me most… Even if I feel sad at times, I nv tell him even if i’m crying over the phone when he said something which hurts my heart, i will not let him noe i’m crying… Coz i don wan him to feel pressurize with me.. i don wan him to feel sad or angry oso … i noe he nv loves me as much as last time le… but nvm … i don mind… i jus need simple basic care and concern… I don need any promises to make me happy , i don need any surprises to make me happy, i don even need presents to make me happy… I jus need to hear some sincere words coming from ur heart… From the bottom of ur heart… and not words that are use to fu yan wo….Marc and mie ask me to show him my blog, but i don feel the need to.. even if he saw he won feel anthing oso.. Maybe he will feel more pressurize.. so better not let him see… Coz i don wan him to feel pressurized. I want him to be happy oso… Happy Being with me… Both of us jus dosent have the same mindset… He ’s jus another block head who always thought of himself and some who can nv understand my needs and my feelings ……..Taurus guys are just blockheads………
Jus came back from yy house … but before coming home we went to sing karaok at AMK K bok.. actually is quite happy when i get to sing a lot of songs in one day and my voice doesnt song so bad like the previous time when i went…but too bad today feel a bit tired so sing until i feel restless.. This is the first time i sing until i feel so restless…Maybe because i was waiting for him to call me… So i jus feel restless when he nv call me… but den when i check my phone actually my phone went flat… haha Silly Me…when i reach home i call him again… den found out that he actually called me and he was making durian puffs so cannot ans my phone call… I Miss Him hope can see him as soon as possible…
After all i still feel quite happy la…. Staying at yy’s house was quite fun but i didnt enjoy much oso , coz his house so dirty so many dust make my sensitive nose so terrible… the worst place in his house is the kitchen.. hahah…i was happy for Mie that her relationship between her and jeremy is getting better.. At least not like last few weeks.. Hope everything goes well for her…
This is for Rachel…I Put BIG BIG WORDS FOR U DON COMPLAIN LE… hahah ….
Hai yo …. I don know wat to write mah…. coz everytime stay at home den i oso nothing to write…… nothing special happen to me oso ……. tmr goin to marc house le …… but wat makes me disapointed is …. dear always don like to go to de . How i wish he can go and have fun with us. All he think is himself… His two word “don like” seems to be very big like that … Every time say he don like den make me like a baddie… Make me seems to be the forcing him do things like that…. Den everytime quarrel over this i oso very sian… i find that this few days i talk to him quite sarcastiliy… i oso don know why i talk to him in that manner … Maybe because i jus don really like that way he always reject wat i request or want…. But when he agree with me that time i oso don feeel happy… coz i know he agree with me is very de unwilling de.. i don like this feeling…. Seems to fu yan wo like this …….. i thought being a couple should gib way to one another….. Sometime gib until i got nothing left…..den jus feel so useless got bf or no bf oso the same….. only another guy fren to accompany me…. sometime don even feel he’s love.. When im angry he don even bother to make me happy… Wat make me more angry is he can even sound angry with me when im angry with him………… Sometime feel that to him im jus not important… even with or without me in his life is the same……. haiz yah
don write le …. U All LA ASK ME WRITE WRITE UNTIL I FEEL SO SAD sob sob….. Kidding la
从你眼睛看着自己 最幸福的倒影握在手心的默契
是明天的指引无论是远近什么世
在天堂拥抱 或荒野流离
我爱你我敢去 未知的任何命运
我爱你我愿意 准你来跋扈地决定
世界边境 偶尔我真的不懂你
又有谁真懂自己 往往两个人多亲密
是透过伤害来证明 像焦虑不安我就任
怕泄漏你怕 所以你生气
我爱你让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
我撑起所有爱 围成风雨的禁地
挡狂风豪雨 想让你喘口气
被割破的信心 需要时间痊愈
梦想缠着怀疑 未来看不清 就紧紧的拥抱
去传[递]能量和勇气 我爱你
我爱你我想去 未知的任何命运
我爱你让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
哪里都一起去 一起仰望星星
一起走出森林 一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌 一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己 一起找到意义
我爱你 我不要没有你
我不能没有你 绝不能没有你
The first song’s which make me cry… actually is not the song la .. is the Mtv .. the mtv is so touching…. Hey Frens should look out for this mtv.. the song is by SHE…
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